Annoyed at myself

Recently I have realised how much I live in the past. I'm so hung up at what's already happened, that my life has come go a complete standstill. I think this is because of a boy at school that I was just such good friends with, best friends even. I still remember the first day I ever met him. We were so close and he was one of the only people I could trust, we used to spend so much time together and we just had such good times. We never put a label on our friendship, but I could tell there was something more between us. He started dating my best friend and then it hit me how much I actually liked him, us three were just involved in a vicious love triangle, and it didn't end well they broke up and me and her are no longer friends. Which to be honest I'm not too bothered about, but since I've left school and started college me and him have hardly spoken. We've just lost contact and our complicated relationship didn't stop as such just simmered away... We never spoke about "us" anymore it was never resolved it was just left. I have seen him a few times since college and things just felt so normal, like nothing ever happened. I still see him as my best friend who I fell for. I can assure you the feelings not mutual as he has a girlfriend. It just hurts a lot knowing I don't mean anything to him anymore.I don't really know what we are. It sounds so cliche but I've never liked anyone like him and I just sit hoping that one day he will remember me and what we had. I can't help but think what might of been. Of course I'm happy he's happy but I just can't help but hope that one day he will realise what was right there all along. I hate talking about him with my friends because they will tell me to grow up move on, stop living in the past, he's moved on, stop being pathetic. But right now I just don't think I can. I just miss everything about him, his hugs were always the best, they were just perfect, they always made feel better and happy to have him. I'd give anything right now just to hug him.The majority of my friends have boyfriends or that special guy they are texting everyday and here's me hoping some boy from school is gonna suddenly come back into my life! At this rate I don't think I will ever find someone as good as him.. Forever alone.

Your so naive...

So my college friends make it a daily thing to bully me about my love for one direction apart from Rosie who understands my feelings.

So basically we were walking around college doing work for Claire, and they thought it would be a really funny idea to tell me Harry Styles was in one of the classrooms. Now I obviously know he wasn't in there but its just my natural reaction to check just incase. Afterwards we just kept on walking and Emily said '' What would you do if you saw One direction walking down the stairs'' and I said i would run and catch them. Emily rightly pointed out that I am most likely to trip because I had my creepers on. I ignored what she said and sprinted down the stairs, and in doing so I tripped...

coincidence I think not. I blame this whole incident on you Mr Styles. 

The Start.

So my wonderful friend Jess just introduced me to Blogger and i've decided to give it a try. After looking at her blog it really inspired me. Her wise words just moved me and i know this is just a foolish attempt at trying to be as wonderful as her but shes encouraged me and i will do as she wishes.

Jessica is such an influence in my life, i could call her my hero. Her charm and class just emits through her beauty and im so humbled to be her friend.

So, hello Blogger and i hope that you enjoy my posts about my love for Harry Styles and Harry Potter. Follow me on this journey of life. <3

Please if you have any sanity you will check our her incredible blog

she-had-it-all.blogspot.com 

she really does have it all. I LOVE YOU JESS <3